my soul has found home.

It’s quiet here, but not in the usual sense of quiet; there is always music playing and people talking and laughing but it is quiet for my soul. It smells of eucalyptus and spearmint and it feels like hope. It’s more like a place of healing rather than a spin studio; a mind, body, and spirit studio designed to bring Christ into every part of a person’s being.

I came the first time because a friend asked me to come with her and the class was okay but nothing magical. Completely donation based and Christ centered, I decided to give it another try, this time coming to the flow/yoga class. Thinking it would be an hour of easy yoga, I got more than I expected.

You see, papa broke me here. He shattered the walls I had built around her and knocked them down, rushing into those places of raw pain and I cried. It wasn’t a quiet and calm cry where I continued with the class- it was the deep sobs that knocked me to my knees for the entire class. An hour of flow became an hour of prayer. But the best part, not once did I feel awkward for crying and the instructors came and prayed over me as well. It was unlike anything I ever heard of. It was unlike anything I have ever experienced. It was as if I had found home.

I’ve been to many other classes since then and usually I spend half of the class in tears and prayer but I’m okay with that. Because sometimes, in the midst of deep pain and confusion and frustration it’s good to have a place I can come and wrestle with papa. Papa and I argue here. We wrestle and we get angry. But we always leave closer and together. I love that I have people I can trust here, the owner, her reminders to breathe and to trust have been ointment to this troubled heart. Even just coming and sitting in here brings me closer to Papa.

And for now, I’m okay with the fact that this is my church. In moments of wrestling, it doesn’t matter to me what the building looks like for church, it matters that I find Papa and ask the questions I need to ask. So this is my church, and this is where healing takes place. This is where my soul has found love.

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One thought on “my soul has found home.

  1. Pingback: panic | learning to write love

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