I am a writer

I’m really good at the starting. The coming up with wild ideas, the gathering of supplies, the starting. It’s the continuing and the doubt which says “I’m not good enough,” that plague my heart with fear.

From the time I was a young girl, I have been told that I am a writer; that words flow from my fingertips as naturally as breath escapes from my lips. And it’s true. I have never written because I like the way writing makes me feel; I write because I have to write. I write because the words that live behind my eyelids have to get out somehow and most of the time the easiest path for them to escape is through my fingers. And after hearing about story101 for a long time, I finally took the plunge despite my fears.

And my fears are in high gear right now:
I’m not good enough. I don’t have an audience. I’m too vulnerable. I’m not vulnerable enough. I don’t have a voice. They pound against my ears threatening to freeze my hands into silence. And when the fear that maybe I was wrong and I’m not a writer again gets loud- I hope to remember. Writing is how my heart breathes. And for that reason alone, I am a writer. And I can do this.

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2 thoughts on “I am a writer

  1. Kimberlie

    I think there are a fair number of us that are in exactly the same place as you with regard to fear and negative self-talk. I write because I love to write, I find joy and I find a platform for my thoughts. But when it comes to having others look at my writing, to really “see” me, that is scary and I wonder how far out on the limb I can go. Just keep writing. You can do it!

    Reply

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